If you know me, you know I don’t “rest”—well not very much anyway. On the Myers Briggs spectrum I’m an ESTJ, which means if I’m not running off to the next social gathering, setting up for it, or cleaning up after it…you might find me doing houseWORK— laundry, cleaning, organizing drawers or closets, taking care of the kids etc... However, what you will rarely find me doing is resting! The Oxford dictionary defines rest as: the ceasing of work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. When I try to rest, any one of my five kids are going to ask me to get up for something—fix a chocolate milk, get them batteries, wipe a hiney etc… but I can’t completely blame it on them. There are many times I try to rest and they aren’t even around, yet the ESTJ inside of me starts asking—-don’t you have laundry to do? Are there dishes in the sink? For a while, I can simply answer her questions, and then she starts demanding me to get up and get busy. I usually give in rather than live under the guilt and shame she lathers mercilessly upon me. She believes resting is a waste of time, and for so long I’ve agreed! However, this past couple of years has had me rethinking my beliefs on the matter.

​For most of my life I’ve let her—the ESTJ inside of me— dictate my beliefs especially on this matter. Then Covid hit and the whole world kind of stopped working (Literally LOL) and some people still haven’t gone back to work (I’ll save my opinions on that for another day). Not only did we stop “working”, we stopped the social gatherings. So where did that leave my inner ESTJ? Well for the first few weeks, she got a lot done at the house, but then she ran out of things to do (not really because that’s impossible with 5 kids) but you get my drift. She didn’t have soccer to coach, basketball practices to run to, taekwondo practices to make, parties to plan, and friends to meet up with. I’ll admit, she was a bit lost, but she did not seem as demanding. In fact, she didn’t have much to say. She became much quieter and it was nice. I was able to rest by the pool, the lake, in the tub, on bike rides, pushing strollers down our street, writing, swinging with my kids and while just watching my kids play in the sand. It was like I had found a new me, and if the old me started on something…I had excuses to “rest”. I could just tell her—- “look it’s out of my control”… “there isn’t much I can do”… “everywhere is closed… “I’ve done all the laundry”… “I’ve cleaned the toilet 3 times already” and then she was lulled to sleep. It was a new found freedom, and it gave me a new sense of power and authority over HER.

​Consequently, with most of us going back to work and life getting back to a little more “normal” I can feel “her” trying to assert herself a little more and more each day. So this New Years I’m making a resolution to give her boundaries and keep REST in my life a little more. I refuse to let her boss me into busy! How am I going to do this without excuses?

Vow 1: Tell myself the TRUTH— I NEED rest! You need REST! There is so much research out that shows how “stopping” in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength aids in productivity, creativity and health. I promise to tell myself this on a daily basis. Rest is what is going to make me better!
​
​Vow 2: Set Boundaries. In other words, I will set up places and times that are clearly “mine”, making sure to express those places to the people around me (especially my kids). All too often “my” time is invaded by them. Don’t get me wrong—I love my kids and love sharing life with them, but now more than ever I realize I need a “me” space, a secret, sacred place in time to just refresh.

​Vow 3: Set Goals. I know this sounds more like work then rest. However, ACTIVE REST is important too. Rest is not just sitting on the couch or taking a nap. Rest is stopping to do those things you love to do and have dreamed of doing— things that refresh you and rejuvenate you. So I’m going to set goals to DO those things. Some goals will be to do something fun I’ve been wanting to do, and others will be to CREATE things—-books, face paintings, pictures, spaces etc… just because for me “creating” is something that refreshes and refuels me.

Vow 4: Purpose to Loll. Yes I’m going to use my lounge chairs, Adirondack chairs, hammock, bed, pool floats, blankets or just the grass to relax. I refuse for these items to just be “decor”, so I’m setting time in my daily schedule (30min a day) to just loll and sit and lounge. With just these 4 promises, I believe I can hold onto this rest a little while longer and bring balance back into my life.
​